You ready for the life changing, HONEST and real convo’s about Sex you know you need to have?
This one’s for all my church girls who’re facing the fact that something’s not working with your sex life and you’re tired.
Tired of trying to have that conversation with your man. Tired of the underlying expectations. Tired of trying to pretend like you want it or don’t want it as much as you do. Tired of shutting the conversation down half way cause you don’t know if you should really ask your friends….. that.
The big wide world is body and sex positive right now. Seems like everyone’s happy to talk about it but you have an underlying belief that sex is sacred somehow so how CAN you have conversations about this that feel right?
It seems everyone out there is having some freaky ass good sex, but you’re still over here trying to figure out where you, your faith and your man fit in that whole picture.
So, we’re gonna quit pretending this doesn’t matter and get down to business. Because you deserve to live as a fully expressed sexually empowered woman, in a way that works for YOU, and your relationship.
Let’s talk about SEX baby.
NOT how they used to when you were in youth group and everyone showed up, sweaty palms, kind of intrigued and not really sure how they felt about it, and you all avoided making eye contact.
NOT like the once a year church sermon or if you were lucky, the 3 part series on sex and relationships, held at the night service of course for the young ones, who needed it most so they could avoid temptation.
I’m talking about having an adult conversation. As grown women.
We know HOW to have sex.
But there is so much more around the edges related to this topic that is just not getting talked about and you’re wondering if what you’ve got going on now is how it has to be.
Maybe one of these sounds like you.
You want to WANT sex but you just DON’T. Sure it’s great when you get there but getting you there is like trying to raise the dead. You know it’s technically possible but it feels like a damn miracle every time.
You’re tired. The desire that used to be there flew out the window when those kids of yours showed up and you’ve struggled to get back in the saddle with the same enthusiasm you used to have in the beginning.
Something about your drive and your mans are just not matching. Maybe he’s keen more than you or maybe YOU’RE the one who’s dragging him to the bedroom. But in a world where most women in your circles might mention jokingly how their guy always wants it and they wear their lack of desire like some twisted badge of honour, you’re left feeling like a freak for wanting it SO much.
There’s men in your world who’re showing up and turning you on and they’re NOT your husband. You’re not sure where to go with that and what it really means about the state of your marriage.
You’re faking it. Just getting it done cause someone told you once it’s right to serve your husband. And he’s never seen your genuine O face so he has no idea you’re getting less than halfway there every time.
You’ve got questions. You know there’s people out there having all kinds of imaginative sex and you’re wondering what you’re missing out on. What is the christian take on oral, anal, toys, positions and all that juicy stuff? Who decides the rules anyway and how are you supposed to open up that conversation?
You’re the ones having the freaky wild sex and you’re not sure where that fits in the big scheme of things with faith and God and how you feel about what turns you on.
You’re taking some quiet moments for self pleasure and wondering what he’s gonna think if he ever found out. And let’s not even start thinking about what God might think cause you’re just not sure you can venture into that conversation.
You and your husband have different ideas on what’s OK in the bedroom and you’re not loving where that leaves you.
Sex took a turn for you when the fertility treatments started and now you’re wondering how to get back to sex because it’s great, not because it is has to be done.
You’re the picture of marital bliss. Maybe you’re even in some kind of ministry and while it looks great on the outside you are struggling to feel connected and empowered in this part of your life and you don’t know who to talk to right now. You know there’s got to be more than this. You want to be the women who is confident in the bedroom. Who knows how to give and receive pleasure with abandon.
SO, What’s a girl supposed to do?
Well to start with. It’s time we talked about this.
It’s time we had a space where we could genuinely ask what’s on our mind. Without shame.
Where we could bring our collective wisdom as women and find our path forward.
Because the absolute worst thing about this topic when it comes to church girls is how much SHAME we bear about the fact that we have a sexual self. She’s only allowed out in the bedroom and we’re not even sure if she knows what to do once she’s let out.
Sex and sensuality is powerful. Not in the - be careful it’s a wild flame that might burn out of control - way we’ve been taught, but in a super thrilling, expansive and gorgeous kind of a way.
When you tap into your sexual self and let that sexual energy grow in your life, you open up other area’s you may not even think are related right now and enhance your life in incredible ways that you’re designed for.
What we’re supposed to do as Christian women is live in the light.
God is not shy, so it’s time we stopped worrying about that.
It’s time we shine some light on this topic.
Why AM I the one talking about this?
Well I’ve asked that question myself over the last year.
Every time this idea kept popping to mind I’d brush it off and pretend like I didn’t get the nudge!
I am opening this space, not because I’m perfect or have all the answers but because I believe God wants us to talk about sex and sensuality. To bust some myths and shame.
I believe christian women should know what’s what on this topic and so many of us are not yet living fully expressed sexually.
I talk with clients all the time about designing a life they love, a life that they WANT to be in, and honestly, I haven’t found a faith positive space yet where women can talk about what that really means for them sexually, in a way that that makes them feel safe, loved and normal.
I have built a successful business and designed a life that I love with a man I’ve been married to for 16 years and we have two kids. We’ve had our share of marital ups and downs but one thing we do REALLY well is communication. We talk about sex openly and yet there are still some aspects of my sexual self that I needed to get some collective womanly wisdom on.
I was raised in the thick of purity and modesty culture and have had my own body image issues and hang ups about sex to work out over the years. While I was in church ministry for years I spoke to MANY women who are struggling with this subject.
My husband and I have run pre-marriage counselling for couples through the church and I think there’s more on this conversation that needs to opened up, not just for pre-marriage but for IN marriage.
I will be facilitating the discussion and speaking about sex in the light of the transformation process that I use with my clients in other areas of their life with great success. This process works to help women do things like triple their client base, book out their business and get more confidence in the life they want to design. And it works for sex too!
So… what are you waiting for?!
Come join the conversation
We’re a bunch of married christian women, who love Jesus but we’re not very religious.
We’re just having the real convo’s, lifting some taboo’s, learning from each others collective wisdom and increasing the emotional intimacy and desire with our husbands.
TRAUMA AND ABUSE.
While this group is not designed to specifically deal with trauma related to your sex life, I'm aware that things may pop up for you so I've got a group moderator, Preet Kaur M.A, a registered clinical therapist specialised in trauma disorders and mental health joining us. Preet is currently completing her doctorate at George Washington University and works as a psychotherapist. She will be in the group to help advise on the discussion if anything triggers trauma and I’ll be referring to her on any trauma related discussion that may arise.
I am also a Protect Accredited Trainer which means I’m very aware of the behavioural and psychological pre contact indicators of abuse. If I have questions or concerns for anyone’s safety at any point I will be contacting them directly and referring them to the appropriate services.
I will do everything possible to ensure that this is a space where you can feel loved, supported and free to discuss this subject but at all times I reserve the right to moderate the group and the discussion for the overall benefit of everyone. That said, I’m pretty much, anything goes for discussion, as long as it’s safe and kind to others in the group.
EXCLUSIVITY AND LANGUAGE:
This group is exclusively for married christian women. The content assumes a basic underlying belief in God and Jesus. How you interpret that in your own life, how you interpret scriptures and how it plays out in your marriage is going to be wildly varied. Your partner may or may not have the same belief system as you and that is fine.
We are focussed primarily on YOUR empowerment when it comes to the subject of sex and this is not a space for intense theological debate of scriptures. I will shut that shit down. And yes, I’m a christian and sometimes I swear so if you have an issue with that now, perhaps don’t join. We will be using correct anatomical names and slang ones so get comfy with all the kinds of language. You can use the terms YOU feel comfortable with.
There is a high chance that while it may seem slightly awkward to you at times, ultimately you’re going to leave these conversations with things to apply to your own sense of empowerment and your sex life so get ready for some mind blowing orgasmic days ahead!