I Need To Be Honest

I really can’t stand it when people don’t tell the truth. 
So I need to be honest. 

It’s so easy to look at someone else’s life and make assumptions. 
We see each others social media feeds and get a little green eyed. 
I know because I do it too and I have to guard myself against it. 

I compare myself and wonder why I’m not good enough or wish I was made a different way to fit in with what I think people expect. Wish I could have something someone else has. Wish I could do what they’re doing. 

What I’m learning more and more is that everyone has a story and often it’s not what you think. 

So, yep, I’m having an amazing week right now but to fly around the place for work and then go sun yourself, well that is just one little part of my world in this moment in time. 
I am the first to happily admit that I am not here solely through my own doing or because I live a crazy luxe life. 

I love to bargain hunt and look for a good special on flights and nab a deal. Hence business class recently. 
And this trip. Well it’s a part of a legacy from my grandparents. This was their special place and in turn they made it ours. It’s their generosity, passed down that helps to bring me here and we’ve chosen travel over a bunch of other things we could spend our money on. Because it’s something we value. 

I guess I wanted to say something about it because I really hate fake things and today when Ev and I were talking about this whole ‘sharing more of my story’ thing I’ve been doing, I started to feel worried. 

WORRIED people would think I was something I’m not. 
WORRIED people would feel I was showing off. 
WORRIED that maybe this wasn’t ‘real’ and so I shouldn’t be putting it on social media. 

Because I have a complete aversion to people who are not the same on the inside and the outside. When people put up a front and try to be what they’re not. 
That’s not freedom. That’s hypocrisy and I can’t stand it. 

As I’ve journaled my way through it today, letting those feelings bubble up, acknowledged what’s triggering them and then allowed the processing to happen, I’ve realised a few things. 

- Worry is a fear state and it’s not going to benefit me. I get to choose if I stay in that state of mind. Fear of peoples opinions is something I’ve always struggled with, being a people pleaser from way back and it’s a useless story I’ve told myself over the years. But that’s not for me anymore so I’m letting that one go. 

- It’s natural that as I’ve started sharing and being a bit more honest about what’s got me to where I am, I want to share the beautiful parts, because that’s what I feel pumped about and super excited for in this moment. Sharing the amazing bits is still real. And it’s flipping exciting right!!

- True freedom, real sharing and the best kind of community, well that comes when you can share both. To revel in the joy and be vulnerable in the tough times. I do both and I love it when others do too.

- The Me 2.0, the version of myself I’m becoming, the one who smashes her goals, changes the world, travels regularly and lives a great life… Well, she will still have kids to deal with that get tired and grumpy, stuff to clean up and business to deal with, a marriage to work on making great and things she has to process to be a better person every day. I’ve got to get good at having open arms to embrace all sides of this thing. 

So, that’s me, still always on a journey of processing and discovery, making choices, setting goals and then working out how to live in them authentically. 

And I’ve gotta be honest, an espresso martini makes it a lot easier to process!

P.s - hit me with an message if you’re interested in my beautiful new FREE resource I’m putting out very soon. The content is done and the design is underway. All about seeing into what your ‘perfect’ day of success looks like and helping you smash your goals. It’s almost ready!!