Depression, illness and panic attacks are no joke.
Neither is doing the inner work to heal, finding faith in a better day, choosing to grow and change.
Here's some thoughts on both from my road through.
First, I will tell you what was.
The wood feels rough beneath my hands.
My cheek presses harder into the floor trying to stop the shuddering.
Lying fetal, cold, head pounding, breath shallow.
My lips tingle and I’m willing myself to take another breath.
Breathe, just breathe.
I’m sobbing now, gut wrenching, nose dripping, heart pounding sobs.
I can’t remember how I got here. Panic.
It was just another dinner, another spasm, another question.
Quiet please, stop talking, I want everything to stop moving.
Leave me here with my head buried in my arm, seeking darkness.
But please see me. Let me know I’m not alone.
Sit by me but don’t touch me.
Tell me you love me. Remind me that I’m strong.
Tell me the things I’ve known all along.
Second, I will tell you what is.
Extend your mountain, reach for the sky.
My arms stretch out and up, asking for more.
Body to the mat, body to the floor.
Breathe in, breathe out, deep, long and certain.
Short shorts and tight tights.
Lycra infused with living and sweating and being.
Fit girl. Brave girl. Bay girl. Strong girl.
Daughter. Wife. Mother. Lover of life.
My body moves at my mind's command.
My mind changing at my body’s insistence.
Lost pain, lost fear, lost struggle and striving.
Found me, found God, found hope, found living.
Peace and certainty in the tip of my pen.
On the tip of my tongue.
Now, I write what will be.
p.s - If you've seen the hooplah about my Journaling Bootcamp recently you'll know that people are getting amazing breakthroughs in their thinking and they're building a great journaling practice that they love! Almost every day since we started I've had messages from people who are LOVING it!
We're one week in and I've had more interest after I closed it so I thought I'd open it up just till the end of the weekend to new registrations!!
You'll still start at the beginning of the course and I'll catch you up all in sequence so you'll just finish a week later than the crew who are in Bootcamp now.
This is a great chance to jump in and make some changes before the end of the year. Get on it fast!