An almond milk latte.
An etched metal table.
The same familiar rounded cushions.
I used to drop my kids at the mall’s childcare centre for the cheap two hour sessions there and while the other mums went to do their groceries, meet friends for coffee or shop their morning away I hustled.
I was so determined that I was going to make it, whatever IT was!!.
Didn’t even know what kind of business it would be, didn’t really care.
I was just looking for ideas, exploring options, wanting more, needing more.
Before coffee I’d trawl through the bookstores, finding a corner for an hour at a time, so glad I’d learnt to speed read and I’d read books I couldn’t afford to buy. Then I’d come back the week after to finish them if I couldn’t find them at the library.
After that I’d make my way to Casablanca.
A little middle eastern feeling cafe.
Splash out for the week on coffee.
Finding a spot I’d sit and write.
Sometimes journaling, sometimes brainstorming and making plans.
They were the years when I was grappling with depression, wondering when I would ever get healing for my body from chronic pain. It would come time to pick my kids up and I remember thinking
‘I can’t do it again’.
‘I can’t load them in the car and go back to managing life!’.
‘What am I doing, I haven’t even got the groceries so now I have to drag them around the supermarket with me'.
What kind of mother am I?!'
‘Why am I even chasing these ideas, trying to do it all!?!’
So much negative self talk.
Fast forward to last week and I was in my old hometown city and I went back to Casablanca for the morning.
It had changed slightly but the bones were the same.
I got my almond milk latte.
Found a spot at the etched metal table.
Pulled the familiar cushions around myself.
Over and over.
I am so grateful for…
I filled page after page.
Things that had come to life I could barely imagine back then.
International travel and business, a beautiful spot in the country, health and energy, growing through it all with great kids and my husband. So many things!!
They were all what I dared to dream of 6 or 7 years ago, that are my normal now.
Some of them are over and above what I had even been able to dream.
I’m so thankfull!!.
Take a moment to think and I dare you to write it down for 2018.
What are the big dreams, the ones that are even a bit beyond what you think is possible?
What does the next level version of you look like?
Be brave. Write it down and then, here’s the kicker…
Start to talk and act like it’s going to happen.