Christmas gives us pause. Highlights our hearts.
Wraps us up in busyness then throws us into the lull.
We fill up our lives, one dot on top of the other until soon the whole room is full.
The obliteration room.
Covered by thousands of dots. Moments in time.
Things that make up our lives.
I’ve been thinking.. What if living in the best spot in the world wasn’t enough?
Having a great man and kids didn’t feel enough?
Knowing you had friends you can call on?
A family that love you?
A business that earns?
What if you got to the bottom of it all and it wasn’t enough.
Why would it not be enough?
Because underneath it all, YOU don’t feel like you’re enough.
None of those things will fill the gap.
I don’t care how hard you try to make it work.
You’ll want a new husband, no more kids, different friends, another family, a change of business.
It will never be enough if you’re not enough inside.
You haven’t dealt with your own deep questioning.
So you’ll come out swinging and taking a hit at all the things around you.
Pain will make you do that. Hurt will make you say things you regret.
Make you fight to see how much they love you. If you’re really worthy.
Yes, even you, self assured, confident, knows what she wants, bold and brave one.
So what to do?
You can wipe the slate clean for sure.
Push back and go make a new life.
Yep, that’s an option. Plenty of people do it.
But it’s like an old school whiteboard, where the markers never quite rub off.
You can clear it but it will always mess with what you draw on top, leaving a shadow of grey.
So what to do when you’re contemplating shadows?
In this space where waiting and praying and figuring out all comes together in some kind of mess you’re supposed to understand.
Write. Always write.
Quit running from the thing that will bring you back.
Write your way into connection.
Write your way into purpose
Write your way into prayer
Write your way into truth
Write your way into a bigger life.
Write your way into enough.
Get all the grey out, take a good look at it and then get what you know is truth on paper so many times that there’s nothing else left in your brain.
Until your hand and head have moved it into your heart.
Until you’ve undone all the old scripts and thrown out the lies.
Give yourself the space for honesty, push back the fear of what will happen if you write the unthinkable.
Write it down and see how it feels.
Is it really what you want?
Is it really worth it?
Is that what the next level version of you looks like?
Is that really truly what’s going to fill you up and make you happy?
Or is there something else?
Maybe all you need is a kiss of heaven.
A moment where you lay it all down.
That little space where you surrender.
All those things you’re fighting.
Those decisions based on false promises.
Should's and have to’s.
They were never the issue.
The mess of it all is YOU.
It’s time you realise that you by yourself.
You’re not enough and you are.
All at the same time.
There are no rules of what ‘enough’ is,
so by default, YOU ARE.
You’ll never be enough to fit in someone else boxes,
Someone else's pre-made plan or the usual ‘way it’s always been done’.
But you are enough to fulfil your purpose.
To do what you’re designed to do.
Surrender to that, and then you’ll know.
You are enough.
Come peel back the layers and explore what you’re designed for.
My online Journaling Bootcamp is 21 days to get you thinking and writing your new reality.
Starting Jan 1. Come join me.