Choosing Gratitude

I’m pleased that it’s Christmas, really I am. 
I’m just on a limited reserve of how many words I have available for public conversation. 

This is so weird for me. To have limited words. Really, what the heck is happening?!
Well, lets clarify, it’s a limited reserve of spoken words. There are still plenty tumbling through my mind! I just don’t want questions or decisions or fluffy talk about the weather. 

We’re well into family events now and I love it but I’m distracted. Mulling on gratitude and resilience. What do you do when life throws you a curveball and things aren’t rosy? Why do some people seem to get one hit after the other? What makes some of those people thrive through the trials, grow stronger and be more, and what makes others retreat?

Because sometimes the things that life throws out are just plain unfair. I don’t care how much mindset work you do, how much to try to speak positively, sometimes I want to stamp my feet, pout and scream, NOT FAIR!!

It’s not ok that one of my friends has lost her son right before christmas and others are spending the holiday in hospital praying their son wakes from his coma. Meanwhile, I’m sitting by the christmas tree, lights flickering, banter in the background, excitement building for my children about the impending festival. 
I’m not even the one in the middle of the trial but my empath heart screams for my friends, ‘NOT FAIR!!’. 

So we send messages, make visits, extend love to them in whatever ways are possible, then go back to our own family and talk about cups of tea, fruit cake, entrees and glazed ham. We go shopping and take trips to art galleries, wash dishes and wrap presents. 

It seems so, well… unfair. 

I don’t have great words to tell anyone if you're going through hard times how there's a message in all of this. 
How you should see the silver lining and rise through it all if you’re facing the rough stuff. 
Because I’m not sure if I believe that right now. 
Sometimes hard is just hard and there’s no reason you can see in the middle of it. I think when you’re walking through hell you don’t know until you get out of it what it’s built in you. 

All I have in this moment is gratitude. 
I’m grateful that right now, my little family is well and I’m here in the glow of fairy lights. 
I'm so very thankful and I choose gratitude.