It sprouted just below my chin. A long wiry unruly hair.
What the hell is going on with this ageing business?!.
But you know, I can deal. I have tweezers.
Except I didn’t …
I’d just arrived in Melbourne to see one of my favourite people, stylist extraordinaire, Jenna Kneale.
I was beyond excited. We’d laughed and giggled our way from the airport where we’d met up, all the way to our hotel, our men shaking their heads at us as they followed behind.
Then just as I walked across the road, somehow I felt it as I brushed my hand across my face.
If you’re a woman over 35 chances are you know that feeling.
The ‘oh sheeeeet’, how did this escape me feeling?.
The ‘please let no body else have noticed me turning into an old Italian woman growing a moustache' feeling.
Turning away I quickly fumbled to discretely grab it and pluck it out with my fingernails.
Once, fail, twice, fail, three times, FAIL!!
Finally on the 5th try the little sucker gave up and I could relax.
So, great start to 4 days hanging with a STYLIST right?!
Urghh.. every feeling about not being pretty enough or cool enough gurgled away below the surface before we’d even begun.
I knew that coming to Melbourne was about a couple of things.
1 - Hanging out with my man. We needed a break before the craziness of our house build begins.
2 - Reconnecting with our soul people. People we love and miss dearly.
3- Preparing for Refashion.
See, Jenna and I are running a retreat in august/september in New York.
(Btw, dates are being decided this weekend for those of you who are already asking to book it in your calendar!)
And it’s all about being Refashioned.
Loving who you are inside. Making changes where you need to and up-levelling that part of yourself first.
Then styling workshops, 1:1 consults and shopping trips to help you embody that version of yourself.
To show the world who you are inside.
It’s mind, body, soul work to get you wild and free and I’m SOOOO excited about it.
And I just KNEW this was going to happen when I got here.
That I was going to have to face it all in myself first so that I could be at a new level of confidence before we run the retreat together.
As someone who spent years struggling with bulimia and self esteem issues, was never the cool kid and didn’t have a clue what to wear growing up, I’ve come a long way.
I know now what it is to stand confidently in who I am, I know how to do the mindset work, to challenge my own views on myself,
… but I know there is more.
There’s always more.
Once we’d freshened up we hit the Fitzroy area to peruse for some vintage/boutique gems.
I’m loving it. It’s perfect, we’re laughing and playing as we walk along.
We can’t believe we’re getting to hang out in person again.
I knew what I was shopping for.
New leather jacket, jeans, shoes, tee’s, accessories.
You know, just everything.
Then she told me a top I tried on didn’t work because I needed better jeans than the ones I was wearing.
Never mind the fact that she’s right, I know these jeans are below average.
Cue internal dialogue…
Why did you ever even buy these jeans Meg!!.
Don’t you know how to buy quality that fits you right?!
Urghh, of COURSE you DON’T.
You don’t know ANYTHING about style!!
Nothing fits you and that mum tum.
You can’t wear crop tees anyway, how old do you think you are, 15?.
Honestly you guys.. we can be so MEAN to ourselves.
I would never say that to someone else, but here I was abusing myself!!.
Now the sun is rising on a new day, peeking through the curtains of my hotel room as I sit watching the world wake up.
Six pages of journaling poured out of me before it was even light and I KNOW that all of this is a choice.
I choose not to speak to myself like that anymore.
I choose to love the skin I’m in.
I choose to trust my beautiful stylist friend.
I choose to embrace my next level self.
I choose to stand in confidence
I choose to LOVE ME.
This is what being refashioned is.
It’s not about having the coolest stuff or looking like society’s version of how you should be.
It’s about refashioning the views we have of OURSELVES.
About spring cleaning the corners of your mind.
Getting rid of stories that don’t serve you, don’t love you, don’t help you to grow.
Letting your heart express itself.
Ready to refashion yourself?
p.s - stay tuned for dates and details for the NY retreat!!! Coming soon!!!