Confidence

Wouldn't it be nice to just enjoy being in your body instead of constantly comparing it or wishing it was something different? 

There's no denying we live in a looks-obsessed society which can lead you to always diving under the covers or have you reaching for the lights fast. It makes sense that you're less likely to want to initiate or say yes when you're worried about how you'll look if you really give in to pleasure.

Purity culture teaches us to police the body and how it appears. It’s also strongly connected to the diet culture's obsession with the body's appearance and such narrow views of what a good and presentable person should be like.

As a survivor of purity culture, you may have been taught to be ashamed of your body, to see it as something that needs to be hidden or changed. But it's time to start seeing your body in a new light and to build confidence in the skin you're in.

Small Shifts to Start With

- IDENTIFY the negative things you're telling yourself about your body and it's worth. 
- MOVE your body in positive ways that you enjoy. 
- Note this positive movement as evidence that directly COUNTERS the negativity.   

And a practical exercise to help you on your way.
This is called Dancing in the Dark. Here's how it works:

1. Turn off all the lights in the room and make sure you have enough space to move freely.
2. Put on some music that makes you feel energized and empowered.
3. Start moving your body however it feels comfortable, let go of any self-consciousness and allow yourself to fully express yourself.
4. Dance with total abandon and without any expectation or judgment, let yourself get fully immersed in the movement.
5. Keep dancing for a few minutes, and notice how it feels to let go of self-consciousness and how your body feels.
6. When you feel complete, take a few moments to reflect on how you feel, and notice any shifts in your relationship with your body and your level of confidence.

This exercise is about connecting with your body in a playful and empowering way, allowing yourself to let go of any negative messages you've been told, and rewriting the internal scripts that tell you your body should look and behave a certain way. In the dark, you can dance freely with no judgment, just pure self-expression and connecting to your body.

A lack of confidence in your body and all that negative self-talk plays out in avoidance of intimacy, strain in relationships and lost opportunities. There's so much life out there for you to live. Don't let this hold you back!

Where to from here?

Confidence plays a huge role in how we show up for sex, especially when old beliefs and shame are in the mix. If you're struggling to feel desirable or to want sex at all, confidence might be part of what's getting in the way.

How to Want and Enjoy Sex More (Without Feeling Pressure) is a course designed specifically to help you unpack the beliefs that are blocking your desire—especially the ones purity culture planted—and rebuild a sex life that feels good, grounded, and shame-free. If confidence is one of your barriers, the course will help you understand how it fits into the bigger picture and how to start shifting it with practical tools and support.

Click on the other roadmap areas to find out more:

Desire / Body / Connection / Theology