I had the best looking marriage and family but I was dyyyying inside with how much my sex life sucked.Â
We had a successful business, cute kids, we were travelling the world but when I tell you I felt stuck, ashamed, and honestly kind of hopeless about the whole thing. I mean STUCK.Â
After years of terrible advice, followed by therapy, some solid education and a fair amount of hanging on to my relationship by my fingernails, I finally got to a place where I felt free in my sex life.Â
Growing up in christian spaces and purity culture meant sex came with rules, fear, and silence and I felt totally broken by it. I had next to no real sex education growing up and lugged shame around like a ball and chain, even though I’d tried so hard to get it “right.”Â
It felt like the sun finally started coming up when I realised I wasn't broken.
You're not either in case you're wondering. Â
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I realised pretty soon after that IÂ couldn't ignore the need for factual, shame free, honest conversations about sex for people who had grown up in church.
I retrained as a Sexologist and Relationship coach, specialising in helping people recovering from the shame-based religious teachings of purity culture and the deconstruction of their faith.Â
I'm trained in Clinical Sexology, as a Certified Advanced Sex and Relationship Coach, and as an Integrated Intimacy Practitioner with additional study in Positive Psychology and Trauma-Informed Care.
I'm also a Safe & Sound Practitioner and a Protect Accredited Trainer (New Zealands leading protection and self defense agency) and for more than 14 years I've worked with clients to help them identify the behavioral and psychological signs of abuse and practical strategies for staying safe.
I've worked with hundreds of people to help them get back in touch with their bodies, their partner and actually feel like sex is something that is worth their time and energy.Â
Things I hear on the regular from clients:
- Going from zero motivation and tears at the thought of having sex to loving it and having sex regularly.
- Having deeper and more intimate conversations than ever before with their partners
- Finding time and space to embrace their own sensuality and capacity for pleasure.
Most of all, they're feeling freer. They've reclaimed their voice. They have a connection with themselves, their bodies, and their partners,without all the shame and pressure.Â
Wherever you’re at, I am so glad you’ve stopped by.
If you are ready for support check these out:
- Ink and Soul is a great place to start if you're a woman looking to find confidence and connection in your own body and sex life. It's a free 10 day journey that will set the stage for any further work you want to do on healing this part of your life.Â
Join here - For the guys, I have something rad coming up soon. Get on the waitlist here.
- Want something self study you can do right now? Grab this course:
How to Want and Enjoy Sex More
